The anticipation feels like it is going to eat me alive. The day after tomorrow, I will have a brand new spine. As I sit with my anxiety, I am reminded that instead of "worrying" I should be "curious." It is not like I want to chase this feeling away or take drugs to dull it...but it is notably fucking uncomfortable to FEEL the adrenaline pumping. No one to Fight. No where to Flight. No need to Freeze. My body simply "knows" it is time to gather all its resources to help me out.
It's fascinating. Is this a Challenge or a Threat? Just a challenge.
In fact - an opportunity for growth and a newly found sense of stability and purpose. 9 years ago today that bus came along and knocked me down, obliterating the life I knew. My critical incident. Then came the Ghosts.
Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your Past.
I had fought those ghosts for so long, it never occurred to me until way later to stop slamming the door on them...and instead, to invite them in. They just want to be seen and heard after all. And how about, Celebrated? Like the welcoming force ushering me into the next chapter of my life.
Thank you, Ghosts. I appreciate this Challenge. You are no longer a Threat to me. "Appreciate" means to "go up in value." I appreciate you and the mark you have made on my soul. Who would I be without you? KEEP GOING!
It's fascinating. Is this a Challenge or a Threat? Just a challenge.
In fact - an opportunity for growth and a newly found sense of stability and purpose. 9 years ago today that bus came along and knocked me down, obliterating the life I knew. My critical incident. Then came the Ghosts.
Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your Past.
I had fought those ghosts for so long, it never occurred to me until way later to stop slamming the door on them...and instead, to invite them in. They just want to be seen and heard after all. And how about, Celebrated? Like the welcoming force ushering me into the next chapter of my life.
Thank you, Ghosts. I appreciate this Challenge. You are no longer a Threat to me. "Appreciate" means to "go up in value." I appreciate you and the mark you have made on my soul. Who would I be without you? KEEP GOING!
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